New Years resolution...

Well, life has a funny way of catching you with a mouth full of milk and making you laugh... or cry. A week before Christmas I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant, nervously elated I thought to myself I couldn't have the misfortune of miscarrying twice within a few months... right? So I started to get excited and plan for an August bundle of joy, until I miscarried... again. At first I was bitter, it was a difficult Christmas blow to be sure, but I survived and dealt with the pain. So now I ask myself, where do I stand?

2011 is going to be an amazing year.

I am so encouraged and passionate about this years goals and successes-to-be. My husband passed the PTCB (Pharmacy Tech licence) yesterday and he is now in line for his own store. I was chosen to meet with T-Mobiles CEO and share with him my "best practices" and challenges (such an honor!). My son is AMAZING! Every day he teaches me something new about myself and about life. I have realigned myself with God and I am determined to live my life for Him.

I am scared about my difficulties getting, and staying, pregnant. I have a rare blood type and it doesn't play well with others so to speak... it is called RH incompatibility and I will have to deal with the worry that because I didn't talk to my doctor soon enough after my last miscarriage and get a dose of Rogam I may have problems in the third trimester of my next pregnancy... assuming I can get past the first 6 weeks that is...

And I wonder why I am having subsequent miscarriages, I am an otherwise healthy 27 year old, I have had one successful pregnancy, and I don't have any health problems that I know of... but now we are doing a lot of tests to find out if there is something hiding under the surface of "healthy". So that being said... 2011 is going to be an amazing year.

I am so grateful to have the support of such wonderful friends and family, and while it is difficult to share my trials with everyone verbally, I find it therapeutic to write about them. So if you are reading this and are shocked that I have been silent, don't take it personally... I have been focusing on myself lately and haven't been addressing my inner demons with anyone other than my hubby (and he has been amazing at helping me heal). So in closing...

2011 is going to be an amazing year :)